Sleeping with Polecats

Little did I think when contemplating the purchase of a castle, that it would ultimately result in sharing a bed with these delightful members of the mustelid family. This did not happen without warning. A long furry streak had been spotted in the castle for some time by Ryan the vegan chef and Joe the plasterer, but it was so fleeting at first that it could have been an imagining, very much in the way one experiences a meteor i.e. did I really see that?

I was reassured by the additional comment "I don't think it was a rat.", but I did not see anything personally.

Then one evening, around 11PM, I went down to the kitchen in the basement to switch everything off for the night. I could hear a noise in there. "Gosh Ryan is cooking very late this evening, but how marvellously dedicated he is!", I mused. As I went in I greeted Ryan, but could not see him. However, I could still hear very loud rustling noises. I took out my camera phone, and video-ed my hunt for the culprit. The little video below is the edited-down result.

In fact, Polecats are a strange mixture of nervousness and curiosity. They may initially run away and/or hide from you, but then they will come back into the room even though they know you are still there. They sometimes approach and look at you, perhaps only from the distance of a foot or so, but these moments are very rare.

I showed Joe the video footage and he was bowled over. He used the indigenous North American tradition of the first thing you see to name our furry inhabitant. This was "Ko-Ko", the brand name on a carton of vegan milk. I got the feeling Ko-Ko is a female, but have been told that he is a large dog Polecat. Anyhow, to Ryan, Joe and myself, Ko-Ko is a lady. When I closed a washing machine door one evening, an agitated squeaking came from behind the machine. It sounded like something was in pain, but just closing a door would not have squeezed a small creature. I am presuming these are Ko-Ko's kits. There is a smaller Polecat that also has been seen in the castle, but far less often,

Whenever I see Ko-Ko, I slow right down and make no sudden movements so as not to alarm her i.e. she realises I can see her and that I am not an enemy. I think she is becoming increasingly tame. It is easy to understand how Polecats became domesticated. DNA analysis indicates that Ferrets (the domesticated Polecat) were domesticated around 2,500 years ago.

By coincidence, the gamekeeper next door has just started keeping five Ferrets in an outdoor cage. These are also delightful, but clearly smaller than Ko-Ko, and only two of them have the "highwayman's mask" marking on their face, albeit in a less well-defined manner than Ko-Ko. Wikipedia tells me that Polecats are larger than Ferrets, and that they all have the mask marking. So what we are seeing in the castle is clearly a wild animal.

One of the major prey items of Polecats are rats, so I am only too delighted to house Ko-Ko. Happily no rats, and sadly no mice, have been spotted since her residence. In the past, I started to tame one of the castle's mice, but I made a sudden movement by accident while sharing a sofa with the mouse and it never came back!

Anyhow, I often hear Ko-Ko in my bedroom during the night, and in my head I was willing her to sleep with me. Be careful what you wish for, as one night I half woke-up and felt something moving between my shoulder blades. Half conscious, I thought "rat", and wriggled my shoulders to repel the boarder. When I fully woke up, I wondered if the sensation was just a dream, and then worried if it was actually Ko-Ko that I had frightened off in error.

However, surely a wild animal in my bed was incredibly unlikely? Anyhow, I then felt something very light crawling over my duvet slowly getting higher and higher on my body. The point of contact between wild animal and myself felt electrified, such was my excitement. I was very careful not to make sudden movements. I was awoken a number of times in the night by this sensation, each time convinced it would never happen again.

Finally I could hear the snuffling of Ko-Ko's snout near my face, feel her breath on my skin, and on opening my eyes could see the silhouette of her head moving against the blue-black gloaming of the night.

Then she bit me on the face, on the outer edge of my left eyebrow. I gave out a small yelp and Ko-Ko ran off. I then put my face under the covers as I did not want to be bitten again. Eventually, Ko-Ko turned up again but snuffling around the back of my head - digging her snout into my hair. There was a flicking sensation accompanied by a small "crack" every so often. Was she using her claws to investigate?

I suspect the "nip" is the way Polecats communicate socially, just a way of testing out the other party (does it feel pain?) and establishing hierarchies.

I then thought I might be able to feel Ko-Ko sleeping in the small of my back, but this could have been my imagination.

This all occurred on Saturday 12 October, but was this a Polecat one-night stand? Well, the following Monday night Ko-Ko was back on my bed exploring. This time knowing, I think, what she was dealing with and that I was not a threat.

To stop dogs biting as adults, I was once told you have to train them as puppies. Whenever they bite you whether through aggression or playfulness, you should yelp/squeak to let them know that you feel pain, and you shouldn't punish them. With my little yelp, I have trained Ko-Ko perfectly. :-)

I am not sure what the lesson is, but by treating fellow animals on the planet with respect, they will give the love back. My builders wanted to kill Ko-Ko (why?) but she is a champion ratter and she has enriched my life enormously.

I am not sure how often Ko-Ko is joining me in bed at the moment as, by definition, I am asleep! However, she is definitely around in my bedroom on a regular basis. A couple of days ago, I found that both laces of one of my walking shoes had been snipped off cleanly right by the eyelet hole. This was not material fatigue, as I found the laces on the other side of my bedroom. The next day the laces were snipped off from my other walking shoe, and again left on the other side of the room.

I had to buy new laces on Amazon!

So not only is Ko-Ko delightful, but she is a naughty little Minx: a Mink being, of course, another member of the mustelid family.